When Childhood Left You Feeling Unworthy: The Hidden Roots of Self-Worth and Healing
There are people who walk through life wondering why they struggle with self-worth and anxiety, without knowing why for years. Until one day, you reach a point where things come to the surface that you did not even know were there, quietly flowing around in your subconscious mind. And you suddenly begin to understand the why: why your life and repeated struggles have seemed so difficult to change.
The roots of real self-worth when living with childhood PTSD are different, because the nervous system of a child is still growing. And this changes how you feel as an adult...
One of the lessons I learned on my path of recovery was about feeling worthy and finding a feeling of healthy self-esteem. You often read that people with PTSD struggle with self-worth. Let me now show you what is really beneath those roots, from the perspective of a child:
Childhood abuse and living in foster homes after dysfunctional family traumas can leave you with a very different self-image. When there are no people telling you that you are safe, that you deserve respect, loving kindness and support, all of this leaves you as a child feeling unworthy of any good thing. Back in those days, real support or trauma therapists were rare. Only when I was older than 40 years did I finally get help from a certified trauma therapist.
Before that, I was walking through life with a defective self-image due to trauma. This is how one simply spends years feeling unworthy of real friendship, true love, or appreciation for simply being who you are. When a child does not receive positive comforting messages from the caretakers, feelings of insecurity become permanent. No, there was nobody giving me a comforting hug when I needed it the most, and I spent half of my adult life feeling unworthy of receiving comfort from others.
The deeper truth about self-worth and real confidence:
Self-worth and feeling confident may seem simple, natural, and easy to so many people. But if you never had any stable ground nor any foundation of positive feedback to begin with, where do you take this from? For me, most of my life, I came home after days at work feeling exhausted from hours of feeling insecure and unworthy.
While growing up in foster homes, children can end up feeling like a dog left in a shelter, with the belief that “nobody wants you.” Yes, you feel like nobody wants to spend time with you, and that is the one feeling that continues to accompany you into your adult life, like a sad song.
This is the part that is often overlooked when recovering from childhood abuse. The healing work about the physical abuse is one thing. But these are the other wounds of the heart that also continue into the adult’s self-image and feelings of self-worth.
Because the child who grows up in those situations then believes it is not worthy of loving kindness, of being heard, and it feels it is not worthy that people spend time with it. This creates a self-image of deep unworthiness for any kind of support from others.
Those were the mirrors I received from the way I was treated as a child: adults in a dysfunctional family making me feel that I was not worthy of being listened to, of spending quality time with them, of being respected, nor worthy of one comforting hug. And those messages got engraved in the subconscious mind, and as an adult I ended up wondering why I would feel unworthy of any good thing in life. With such a self-image, of course you struggle creating healthy relationships or a stable career. This is what you feel as a child living in foster homes.
Of course, as adults, we understand with our thinking mind that the past is behind and over. And of course we do want to let it go and focus on the present. We know it, we understand it. But until this understanding reaches the point where our heart truly feels all of this too, it may take some more time.
Yes, whenever a man proposed to me with a ring, I would react with panic attacks and running away. Some may say that is funny, but for me the pain was on a whole different level.
That constant message from the background telling you: you are not worthy of love, kindness. Nobody wants to spend time with you. People don’t want to know how you feel. You are not welcome anyway. You should not bother others with your needs. Those were the records and echoes still playing.
It takes serious work to change those messages received during years as a child. Healing and recovering from dysfunctional family patterns is like muscle training.
Reprogramming the subconscious mind may sound simple for many, but for those of us who are recovering from repeated childhood trauma, it is so much more than that. Especially if rejection was the repeated standard message you received in the first and most important years of your young life. And this is part of the work I share through my websites and articles today, with the loving intention to share encouragement for all those who are walking a similar path.
It is one thing to understand the theory, but developing a new feeling of self-worth and truly feeling worthy in daily life situations is another. Yes, it is one day at a time. It means learning a new state of being. It demands self-compassion. It means daring to ask for help and asking for patience from those around you.
We are dealing with walls of self-protection that may seem strange to others. But all those self-protection patterns were born out of survival strategies that were necessary in our younger years.
It is not that we do not want to trust. We just need a little bit more time than others might. While our hearts are longing for love, connection and comfort, we may need more patience and compassion from those around us, until we can open up too.
We truly have the power to reshape these subconscious beliefs that hold us back. By healing old wounds, we can cultivate a completely new self-image. While some promise 'quick fixes,' the truth is that every soul’s path is unique; some journeys simply require more patience and effort than others. The spiritual path is not a one-day seminar; it is a lifelong way of living and constant learning.
What I want you to receive here is one clear message: healing is possible for you too. That wounded part of you can heal with your loving attention, through healing exercises, with loving care from your higher Self, and with your self-compassion.
You deserve all the love and all good things, just like everybody else does. You are worthy of healthy and loving relationships. You deserve to live a fulfilling life and to be surrounded by people who appreciate you just the way you are.
My hope is that through my writing, blog, and website, I can help and encourage others who are walking a similar path.
Please feel free to reach out. I am here for you.
With a loving hug, Jeanne
💗 Contact here.
🌿 Discover more services here.
💗 Send Jeanne a big cup of coffee & a tender hug ☕
There are people who walk through life wondering why they struggle with self-worth and anxiety, without knowing why for years. Until one day, you reach a point where things come to the surface that you did not even know were there, quietly flowing around in your subconscious mind. And you suddenly begin to understand the why: why your life and repeated struggles have seemed so difficult to change.
The roots of real self-worth when living with childhood PTSD are different, because the nervous system of a child is still growing. And this changes how you feel as an adult...
One of the lessons I learned on my path of recovery was about feeling worthy and finding a feeling of healthy self-esteem. You often read that people with PTSD struggle with self-worth. Let me now show you what is really beneath those roots, from the perspective of a child:
Childhood abuse and living in foster homes after dysfunctional family traumas can leave you with a very different self-image. When there are no people telling you that you are safe, that you deserve respect, loving kindness and support, all of this leaves you as a child feeling unworthy of any good thing. Back in those days, real support or trauma therapists were rare. Only when I was older than 40 years did I finally get help from a certified trauma therapist.
Before that, I was walking through life with a defective self-image due to trauma. This is how one simply spends years feeling unworthy of real friendship, true love, or appreciation for simply being who you are. When a child does not receive positive comforting messages from the caretakers, feelings of insecurity become permanent. No, there was nobody giving me a comforting hug when I needed it the most, and I spent half of my adult life feeling unworthy of receiving comfort from others.
The deeper truth about self-worth and real confidence:
Self-worth and feeling confident may seem simple, natural, and easy to so many people. But if you never had any stable ground nor any foundation of positive feedback to begin with, where do you take this from? For me, most of my life, I came home after days at work feeling exhausted from hours of feeling insecure and unworthy.
While growing up in foster homes, children can end up feeling like a dog left in a shelter, with the belief that “nobody wants you.” Yes, you feel like nobody wants to spend time with you, and that is the one feeling that continues to accompany you into your adult life, like a sad song.
This is the part that is often overlooked when recovering from childhood abuse. The healing work about the physical abuse is one thing. But these are the other wounds of the heart that also continue into the adult’s self-image and feelings of self-worth.
Because the child who grows up in those situations then believes it is not worthy of loving kindness, of being heard, and it feels it is not worthy that people spend time with it. This creates a self-image of deep unworthiness for any kind of support from others.
Those were the mirrors I received from the way I was treated as a child: adults in a dysfunctional family making me feel that I was not worthy of being listened to, of spending quality time with them, of being respected, nor worthy of one comforting hug. And those messages got engraved in the subconscious mind, and as an adult I ended up wondering why I would feel unworthy of any good thing in life. With such a self-image, of course you struggle creating healthy relationships or a stable career. This is what you feel as a child living in foster homes.
Of course, as adults, we understand with our thinking mind that the past is behind and over. And of course we do want to let it go and focus on the present. We know it, we understand it. But until this understanding reaches the point where our heart truly feels all of this too, it may take some more time.
Yes, whenever a man proposed to me with a ring, I would react with panic attacks and running away. Some may say that is funny, but for me the pain was on a whole different level.
That constant message from the background telling you: you are not worthy of love, kindness. Nobody wants to spend time with you. People don’t want to know how you feel. You are not welcome anyway. You should not bother others with your needs. Those were the records and echoes still playing.
It takes serious work to change those messages received during years as a child. Healing and recovering from dysfunctional family patterns is like muscle training.
Reprogramming the subconscious mind may sound simple for many, but for those of us who are recovering from repeated childhood trauma, it is so much more than that. Especially if rejection was the repeated standard message you received in the first and most important years of your young life. And this is part of the work I share through my websites and articles today, with the loving intention to share encouragement for all those who are walking a similar path.
It is one thing to understand the theory, but developing a new feeling of self-worth and truly feeling worthy in daily life situations is another. Yes, it is one day at a time. It means learning a new state of being. It demands self-compassion. It means daring to ask for help and asking for patience from those around you.
We are dealing with walls of self-protection that may seem strange to others. But all those self-protection patterns were born out of survival strategies that were necessary in our younger years.
It is not that we do not want to trust. We just need a little bit more time than others might. While our hearts are longing for love, connection and comfort, we may need more patience and compassion from those around us, until we can open up too.
We truly have the power to reshape these subconscious beliefs that hold us back. By healing old wounds, we can cultivate a completely new self-image. While some promise 'quick fixes,' the truth is that every soul’s path is unique; some journeys simply require more patience and effort than others. The spiritual path is not a one-day seminar; it is a lifelong way of living and constant learning.
What I want you to receive here is one clear message: healing is possible for you too. That wounded part of you can heal with your loving attention, through healing exercises, with loving care from your higher Self, and with your self-compassion.
You deserve all the love and all good things, just like everybody else does. You are worthy of healthy and loving relationships. You deserve to live a fulfilling life and to be surrounded by people who appreciate you just the way you are.
My hope is that through my writing, blog, and website, I can help and encourage others who are walking a similar path.
Please feel free to reach out. I am here for you.
With a loving hug, Jeanne
💗 Contact here.
🌿 Discover more services here.
💗 Send Jeanne a big cup of coffee & a tender hug ☕
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